We all have gotten into the habit of filtering our photos on our social media. For example, when we instagram a photo, filtering that picture comes naturally. But why do we do it? How has it become so natural and normal for us to edit our photos and alter the way we look?
That night, when we were home and I was scrolling through my photos, I found this photo and without realising, I started to edit the marks on my face. In case you haven't noticed, I have quite a few moles on my face and when I saw them, I decided to see what it would look if I didn't have those marks on my face.
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| Why do we photoshop our photos? Yes, even the filters on Instagram count as photoshopping. |
Moles or beauty spots, they're still moles :')
Which do you think looks better? With the moles or without? Society dictates that our physical flaws are what make us imperfect. But then again, society also dictates that our flaws are what make us unique and we should accept them; nobody’s perfect. So how do you think the people of today are portraying themselves? Those with flaws feel ugly but at the same time they are supposed to feel unique and proud of who they are, at the same time magazines are showing people with perfect skin and bodies? It's a little confusing!
I'll be honest... There was a period of time where I absolutely hated my moles, I hated them to the point where I would look in the mirror and just burst out crying. People would ask me, "what's wrong with them? They're unique, they're cute!" But they never understood the insecurities my moles gave me. Sure, it's easy for you to say that they're unique etc. but they're not on your face, you're not the the one that receives the surprised comments that there are 'coincidentally two moles under each eye', you don't have to live with them; you don't know what it feels like. It got to the point where I hated them so much, I searched home remedies of removing moles; I saw my GP about it and he even agreed that they are in inconvenient places, he told me that he didn't see anything wrong with my plan in removing them myself and so; I did it. I strongly advise against doing this; if you plan on getting rid of moles. seek professional help, go to a professional and get them removed.
I got a needle and scraped the skin on top of my moles off so that the skin was open; I then took a small cube of raw garlic and taped it to my mole over night; the acid in the garlic would basically eat away at my mole and make it go. I don't know if you've ever had a cut and accidentally got orange juice in it but that's what it felt like on my mole, the burning sensation and smell weren't momentarily, they stayed for a while! FYI it wasn't just one mole, I did about 4 on my face, for about 4-5 days. Every morning, to prevent infections, I used TCP to wipe the area which stung so much. In the following 4-6 weeks, my moles scabbed off and disappeared, only scars were left on my skin which went after a while. Seeing that this method had worked, I decided to burn off some more of the moles on my face that made me self-conscious. One day as I looked at my skin where my moles used to be, I noticed that there was a black mark; my moles had started growing back, not just one, but all of them. My moles are not surface moles but under the surface of my skin; I tried using the garlic method on the same moles again but they grew back. Defeated, I decided to leave them in case I aggravated them too much that they might turn dangerous.
I honestly wish that I hadn't gone through this process, the realisation that I couldn't be rid of these moles unless I had an operation hit me; and my young teen self was devastated. I decided to face the facts, these small specks are going to stay with me for the rest of my life. A few years on to today and I don't hate them as much. In a way, I’m glad that I went through that process, because it made me face the facts and accept. Of course there are days where I’m not feeling so self-accepting and I research mole removal clinics and seriously contemplate on mole removal. Heck, I even have days where I hate them so much, I decide not to look in the mirror! But like my mum, family and close friends say, they're what make me, well, me! Truthfully... When I look at the left picture above, a part of me would really rather have that face, but then I also think that I look a bit strange; I’m still so torn.
Why is it that I am unable to accept myself 100%? I know that my moles are unique and they make me, me. 98% of the time I am happy with myself. I guess I can look at it as a humbling process and a continuous lesson to be accepting of myself.
I sometimes think 'how can we expect the younger generation to grow up well when we have so many insecurities ourselves?'
How about you? Have you ever had any experiences like this? What are your views and opinions? I'm really curious as to how other people deal with such experiences.
Are you flaw or against your 'flaws'?
Big thanks to Tiff for proofreading ;P you can find her blog at:http://myjourneytomadrid.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html
Much love,
TTM.
X
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